


Please Don't Go

by Talinor



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Implied/Referenced Major Character Injury, Introspection, Kinda, Resurrection, Self-Harm, divine intervention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 18:18:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19045828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talinor/pseuds/Talinor
Summary: He had never been a praying man, but in that moment Caleb let out a silent plea to anything that would listen, deity or not.Please don't let this be it. It's not...He was going to say 'fair', but he knew the fundamental truth of fairness better than most: it hardly ever applied to reality. It was a fun little concept for children, that life worked out in a just way, but children grow up. They see the world as it really is: a harsh, cruel place where loved ones are taken too soon and those who deserve death rarely get it to the degree they should.That's why he was the one holding her corpse, and not the other way around.





	Please Don't Go

**Author's Note:**

> so last Tuesday or so, the wj discord was talking about how Caleb's Raise Dead might be like 
> 
> i was thinking about it an hour ago and decided to write something based off of it. This happened.
> 
> enjoy!

Caleb's hands shook, fingers trembling as they feebly clutched the limp body before him. It felt... _wrong,_ seeing Jester like this. Seeing someone so vibrant and full of life just... extinguished. Frozen with wide eyes surrounded by fresh blood. Every second spent reminiscing was another icy dagger striking his heart.

His eyes stung with threatening tears. He tore them away to the other body only somewhat less damaged than the one cradled in his arms. Yasha's hands glowed with soft and sweet light, accompanied by Beau's work with the healing kit. They had to focus on their work, but it didn't take long for Beau's eyes to wander and meet his. She spared a hand to give him a thumbs up and a bittersweet smile. 

Her eyes lingered on the cleric who wasn't so lucky.

He had never been a praying man, but in that moment Caleb let out a silent plea to anything that would listen, deity or not. _Please don't let this be it. It's not..._

He was going to say 'fair', but he knew the fundamental truth of fairness better than most: it hardly ever applied to reality. It was a fun little concept for children, that life worked out in a just way, but children grow up. They see the world as it really is: a harsh, cruel place where loved ones are taken too soon and those who deserve death rarely get it to the degree they should.

That's why he was the one holding her corpse, and not the other way around.

 _Please,_ he amended his prayer. _If she means anything to any of you, help me help her. If not for my sake, then for hers. It's the least she deserves._

For a moment, nothing happened. He took the time to look at her face. With a tender trembling hand, he reached to close her eyes. If you ignored her own blood speckled amongst her freckles, you may think she was simply just sleeping. It was less distressing that way. Less didn't mean not.

Then he noticed something. Slowly but surely, a green glow was illuminating her face. It wasn't emanating from it, however. The light source was simply glowing bright enough for the rays to reach out and caress it. He glanced around to find where it could be coming from.

To find the culprit was his own coat pocket. He separated one hand from her to reach in and greet his transmuter's stone with a familiar glowing symbol. The Traveler heard him. Or, at least, didn't want one of his disciples to die.

He knew what he had to do. Though he'd never done it before, it was their best shot without Caduceus. Usually he took life, but this time he was determined to save one from the brink.

For her.

The hand holding the stone grew the familiar warmth of his magic. The heat grew to nearly uncomfortably levels just as quickly. Finally flames fully engulfed his hand. Though the fire didn't harm him, already the stone was starting to melt. It transferred the magical heat to his hand in a way he couldn't protect against. It stung like hell, and would probably brand him for a while, if not permanently.

He didn't give a damn. His brows furrowed in concentration; his teeth dug into his bottom lip so hard it might have been painful if not for the red-hot melting stone in his grasp. Slowly he clenched his agonizingly aching hand and moved it to hover above her bare collar area. The new pressure and all-encompassing heat would help speed up the process, but now his entire hand held the painful burden.

He didn't notice the circle of ashes forming itself around them. He didn't notice the astonished eyes most of the Mighty Nein pointed at him. He didn't notice the heat enveloping them was enough to make him visibly sweat. He didn't even notice when the ashes slowly turned into igniting embers, hinting at life that just needed a bit more goading.

He did notice when the melted remain of the stone dripped down out of his grip onto Jester. He did notice how it not only cooled instantly upon touching her skin, but _absorbed into it._ He did notice the circle of flame around them, but didn't take much time to focus on it. He was too busy certainly focusing on Jester's first breath, and hoping for a reprisal.

Her eyes cracked open, and nothing in this world or the next could tear his away from her. "Caleb...?" Her voice was dry and weak, but it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard. She took a moment to observe her surroundings- the awe on her comrades' faces, the shrinking flames around the two, the crimson stains on her clothes. Then her eyes returned to him. "What happened?"

He smiled softly at her, tears flowing freely from him. Not of grief, but of joy. "That doesn't matter now," he told her. "Welcome back to the land of the living, sonnenschein."

He threw up one more simple prayer.

_Danke vielmals, Traveler. Thank you._

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to comment! I love hearing feedback   
> my tumblr: squishy--squish   
> my discord: MyBatteryIsLowAndItsGettingDark


End file.
